So today I got the pictures in the mail. They are beautiful and I will be posting some soon. I got into a little hot water with my parents for the state of my bedroom and my general blahness towards life right now. I mean I dont want to do anything bad. I dont want to go like bing drink or go to some super crazy partys, but at the same time I dont really want to do anything good. I really just want to be with corinne so everything els seems kinda stupid in comperison. I hear everyone talking about the partys or this and that. All the things that go on in normal teenage life and it all seems so stupid. I hear people talk about love and beauty and i realise that they have no idea what they are talking about. I never knew love untill I looked at my baby, I never knew beauty till I experianced birth. Now that picture to the left, that is true beauty and love an happyness all rolled into one for me. I would give anything to wake up everymorning to the face of my baby. I would give anything to wake up to her screams in the middle of the night. Although her mother tell me she is doing really well at sleeping through the night. I wonder how she does it. How she sleeps with out me there, I dont sleep with out her. I wake up a couple times a night usually. I yearn to just hold her and look at her face. I was holding my 3 week old neice, and I looked at her and thought "I could be holding Corinne right now, this could be my baby. She is the same size and almost same age." I just closed my eyes and pretended I was holding Corinne untill I had to give her back to her mom. I didnt get to hold her for very long, and as dissapointing it was to open my eyes and see my beautiful neice and not my daughter It made me happy while I could pretend. If corinne was a drug, id be addicted. I love her pictures and her eyes and face. I wait for them and wish I could only get them more often. I hold her blanket and doll and wish she was here to actually play with them although she isnt at the playing with toys yet stage. I got a cd with the pictures and I dont know why but the cd does not work. I have like a hundred beautifull new pictures of her and i cant even put them on my computer :( I have to go back to school tomorrow and I am so not looking forward to it. Math is now my least favorite class then first period fourth period then third. That shows you how much i dislike my classes this session, i have them listed from worst to least bad but i defenetly dont have favorites. Each class is like a chore I wish It was last session again because I really enjoyed my classes last session. Its even worse that my least not faverite class is the horrable sex ed class with my least favorite teacher. well She isnt my least favorite we just dont allways get along but she is a nice enough lady. I think seeing Corinne next july might be my only motavation for anything right now, i wish I could go to sleep tonight and wake up and it be july 1st. I know my mother is right, I am going through a lot but I shouldnt use it as an excuss. I am going to try my best wether I like it or not. Mom dad I am sorry for the rudeness the last couple days.