I got to see Corinne today. It was a short visit but its better then nothing. I think my family is very sensitive to what Im going through, like they gave me her hat from the hospital today. It really means a lot, I think the little things like that, her hat, They make me so happy. I think they make dealing with this a lot easyer. I still say this is the hardest thing i have ever done but that wont ever change. I knew it would be hard but it doesnt change it now. Im very lonley but that is ok. I dont mind so much. I see how happy she is with them and I can tell they really love her. That is probably the best thing to see. Its nice cuz the adoptive father is very funny. today she was wearing a gray and white striped outfit and he kept joking she looked like she just broke out of baby prison. It was true though, I hope that is the only time she ever looks like a fugative haha. I am still crazy sore but its slowley starting to get better :). I should start looking for a job again soon too. I cant say how holding her in my arms feels. No amount of time will ever be enough with her. Like I said I could look at her for an eternity and be so happy. She was actually awake for the whole visit wich was nice because she slept through the whole last visit. She also did a beastly soaring spit up all over her mom! It was so funny and disgusting it was like a fountain i swear it had at least a foot range projectile! Like she was just holding her normal and corinne barfs like a fountain of spit up all over the mom! haha gross. Not to mention the cutest pic of corinne I think s the one were she is all covered in spit up haha! I miss her so much I really hope to see her one more time before she goes to texas. So when all the pain from my giving birth goes away i get to schedual for a root canal fun right? well that all for now im going to bed.