Thanks Giving.

It is thanksgiving today, I am over at a family friends with my family. I am sitting alone in a side room, but I can still hear my family laughing and talking. I Have head phones on but I can still hear them, I am in this room think about this year, and all I have to be thankfull for. So much has happened recently I have changed so much and for ever. This last year has probably made the most posative impact on my life over any other year I have ever lived. Wether its through a wonderful family who love and support me to the best friends and almost sister anyone could ever ask for, to the birth of the most beautiful daughter anyone could ever ask for. This last year had possably the best summer of my life, wich i spent with my best and dearest friends. I did one of the hardest things ever by placing my beautifull daughter for adoption, there was a lot of ups and downs but as I reflect on this year I can only see overly posative change in my life. I have been getting good grades In school and I am going to be joining running start at green river community collage this january. I am looking for a job, I have a wonderful understanding and awesome boyfriend. Christina (who unfortantly couldnt come to dinner today at my house like i hoped) even though we are apart, she is the other half of me, my very best friend and i couldnt of dont this last couple years of my life with out her. we will allways be friends I know we will grow old together and live in our own candy city that we rule with all the chocolate in the world lol :) My teacher ms magyar and my adpotion councler at lds family social services are also two very big influences in positive change in my life and i really apreciate you as teachers and mentors. I have learned so much this year about others but mostly myself. I have come to find my self so much through the pregnancy and the adoption school friends i have been so busy you would think i wouldnt have time to find much of anything. I found a lot out about who I am and what I can handle, I have really tested my self this last year and i will only continue to push for the better for myself. There are things I want to acheive and I will make it happen. To all my friends family and to the wonderful friends, the angels who adopted my little girl I love you all so much I can even say it. You have all changed my life and I have learned so much from this class and life... But i certanly think documenting this made it more real and easyer to avoid depression wich I have meraculously have! woop woop. happy thanksgiving everyone I truly hope that you all really think about all of the wonderful things that have happened to you this year and tell some one you love them and you are happy they are your friend. I know its sounds cheesy but the world could use more love. So I would rather live life through rose colored glasses over living life with mud on your glasses.

SMILES. So I have been in the hospital since friday! woop woop. I just barely got home last night. The surgery went well but I can honestly say I now understand why people hate hospital. I can honestly say gall bladders are worse than child birth, way worse. The Morphine makes you so sleepy but doesnt take away all of the pain. I was really groggy and majorly drugged for like three days straight and now im still in a lot of pain. All I want to do is sleep all of the time. It was very different compared to my last time in the hospital wich was exactly a month ago to the day of Corinne being born, It is hard not to compare. My last hospital trip was filled with joy and happieness and the birth of my baby. Not to mention I got to hold her all night and this time i got to be alone and in pain and concentrate on breathing to try and forget about the insaine pain. I am really tired so im going to nap ill post more later.

Good knews everyone. I have to get surgery! YAY. So i have been having these weird chest pains for a while and they started while I was prenant. Its a radiating pain that starts out small im my back and then grows larger and larger. They are far more plainful then childbirth any day. Everyone kept saying oh I think they are panick attacks and anxiety. I was like no these arent panick attacks. So today I had one that lasted almost three house and was so painfull that I went to the hospital for it. They all thought I was just having a panick attack that I was fine. Finally a doctor checks me out, and I have tons of gull stones!!!! I have to get my gall bladder removed and still I have two more root canals all this after only of having my baby exactly for weeks ago today at 306pm. This saturday is her 1 month, happy one month of life corinne and many more to come. well I have school in the morning so ttyl

Happy Halloween. well it was yesterday but whatever, lol. I have a fully clean room, hard to believe but it is true!!! took me long enough haha. So Corinne was a bear for halloween cute right. I thought she was going to be a strawberry but I guess they went with bear instead. You know what I think is funny you could dress your kid up as the most ridiculouse things when they are babys because there is nothing they can do about. think of all the poor babys that have had to dress up like something lame or embarrising just because they arent old enough to tell us they want to spit up all over what they are wearing. I saw benni bennassi he was amazing. Although I must say as nice as the wings are they sure as hell get in the way a lot. I kept bumping into people and not fitting in spaces i should be able to fit :( I have to go back to school and to be honest I am not sure i will even pass this session. I am so blahz'e in school now it isnt even funny. I got kicked out of class on thursday because me and a teacher got in a fight >:( lol I shouldn't have but whatever nothing I can do about it now. Puscifer is coming to town on the 6th and I really want to go but I wont be able to oh well next time around i guess. My nieces were a pirate and an angel, super cute guys thanks for the pics. I really miss Corinne but I hear she is doing well and sleeping through most nights. I cant wait till I get to see her again.