Just a really small one here before I go to sleep. A family friends three year old daughter tried to moon some kids that were playing across the street and as she stuck her bumm up against the screen she fell through and down two story. She is okay but they are keeping her overnight at the hospital and my heart goes out to her mother. I would freak out if Corrine fell out a window, seems like a lot of near death experiances latley what with my dad driving off a cliff and all. Lucky thing is all are only near death no one is actually dieing so lets keep it that way folks! I miss Corrine so much it makes me sick. I might actually not even be joking. I havent felt extremly well since saturday and that is when she left for texas. Mentally I feel fine but I have been having a hard time sleeping and having tummy aches and head aches. I had a massive head ache all today and that is why I didnt return to school today. I am returning tomorrow though I promise :) I was watching Gone To Far, Its DJ AMs show about hellping some drug addicted teenagers get clean and it made me cry cuz most of the girls on that show are herione addicts like my mom. I know she has been clean latley but were she is living really worrys me. I dont know how much longer she can do this to herself I am afraid the next time my sister calls me it will be because my mother is dead. Looking at her life and watching that show I never want to be like her with her addiction, It sickens me to even watch. I look at Corinne and I could never do that to her. I would never choose anything over over her, I would die for her. I would never lie to her or steal from her like my mother has with me (oh this is my birth mother for clarification). I dont see how my mom could do it to us. I really just dont understand and i probably never will. I will allways love her but I will never understand her. These shows are pretty graffic to they show the needles and stuff, the girls shooting up. It makes me want to barf. I have seen my mom and I know she had done the same thing, I know my father did that to and it killed him. I have never mentioned this before but my birthfather died from infection caused by shooting up with a dirty needle. He then had his leg amputated and didnt take care of it and got a nother infection that killed him. All because of the drugs. I have watched my birth family be torn apart by drugs. I see the way my sibilings treat my mother and I know i never want to be like that or have a realationship like that with my daughter. I only hope My mother gets clean so she can stay alive and one day when Corinne is old enough maybe she will still be there to start a good realationship with her grandaughter. So she can have with Corinne what she couldnt have with me because of her addiction. well thats all for now. night :)